Antikythera Mechanism

On my trip home last weekend my parents ambushed me with an early birthday. By ambushed I mean I went to the store with my dad and he casually asked me what kind of birthday cake I wanted. I've never really cared for cakes, blasphemous as it is to some for me to say. I enjoy the cake part, but notsomuch the frosting, I also like the cookie part of chocolate chip cookes more that the chips. Regardless, I asked my father straight-up if he was fully aware that my birthday was at the end of the month. He was. I'm pretty sure this has something to do at least partially with the fact that I only see my parents about once every two months. Insert guilt here.

The other reasoning behind the ambush was that I didn't realize Mike and Maya and teamed up with my parents to fight crime, and that the benefits to be wrought were arriving three weeks before I enter my 23rd year so everyone decided to just go ahead and get it out of the way now. Their collaborative efforts:

I was going to just link to it but I wanted to point out the speakers. Do you see those things? This entire thing is gigantic. It's bigger than Maya is. Jesus. Those speakers though, they have mini-subs built on to them. I'm very impressed and very humbled. Any nicer and we'd be at that completely awkward level where I have to wonder if Mike is expecting me to put out.

It arrived yesterday and I broke it out. I have absolutely no idea how to play piano. I've got a musical ear and I can make do and pick up on things, but I'm a little envigorized to learn proper-like now that this thing can connect to the internet, download songs and lessons, different voices, make me coffee... It's a pretty damn cool keyboard, I have to say. I'm still a little angry because I think the only way I can match a gift like this is to offer the M&M's my first born child. And I was going to do that anyway.

I also took the M&M's out in Madison for their first excursion. We hit up Paul's Club, my Madison bar of choice, and neglected Lava Lounge, my old Madison bar of choice. We went to two of the bars on the square and the first one was indie as all hell. It actually came off as an indie dive bar, if that makes any sense, and I think with Paul's Club and The Great Dane would easily complete the triumverate of frequented bars if I lived in Madison. My buddy Jesse from the Eastside Best Buy came out as well, and we bumped into a girl named Aroby that I briefly worked with before transferring back out to Brookfield. She was carrying an empty liquor briefcase and it was no surprise to me when she turned out to be from Riverwest. Sorry, no offense meant, but Riverwester's usually have a way of standing out. After the bars we hit up Ian's Pizza (the real one, over towards Brothers) and I proved to Mike and Maya that Mac&Cheese Pizza is actually one of the greatest ideas stoners have ever produced. For serious, if you've never had Ian's Pizza: Go there and get the fucking Mac&Cheese Pizza. You will not be disappointed.

The last day there I think I almost made my dad cry when I beat him 8-2 in solo Croquet games. I have a fondness for bluffing. Note that I didn't say penchant, because bluffing tends to come back and bite me in the ass, but in a game like Croquet when you get the cat-and-mouse Poison game going I like to taunt and goad and pretend like I have a plan. With a game of this nature I also don't mind losing as long as I get to infuriate along the way. When Mike used me on the first hoop and sent me off course I told him I'd get revenge. Halfway around I used two epic turns to complete the course, become poison, and take him out at great distance. I lost the game but it didn't matter: I crushed his jovial spirit first.

Maddox's book came out last week. I picked it up. If you don't know who Maddox is then click here. If you come away unoffended then welcome, I'll see you in that really warm place once we've both passed away from old age or heart attacks or shark bites. The bit on "I can run faster, do math better and spell better than your kids. Therefore I've decided I'm fit to judge their artwork." is fucking hilarious, it's had me in tears a few times.

To wrap it up: My birthday is on June 29th, as MySpace will alert you in a couple weeks I'm sure. It's a Thursday, which is usually awesome anyway, but I've been debating between trying to get a bunch of people out or to just do the usual and collect free drinks along the way. If anyone wants to come out with us let me know sooner than later and I will figure out what's going on. If not I'll just plan on winging it like last year. I've never enjoyed birthdays, I've always thought they were uncomfortable. Might be because as a kid I usually had a broken bone or a case of chicken pox or a funeral to attend on my birthday. Last year, however, we just rolled around from noon til bar time and I got drunk and dumped beer on Alex Bryan's head. It was a good time overall. Judge's DOES offer 15 free pitchers of beer when you call in on the day of so if people want to tag along they'll have you covered. Currently I'm sitting at: Bar Hopping - Burritos [and / ] or La Fuentes - Bar Hopping - Wolski's - for the 13-hour pre-game and then we can start the real drinking.

And possibly Monocle shopping in there as well. If we could all roll like the Monopoly Guy I would be happy beyond description.