drunken moving

I feel this requires a blog.

I am currently inebriated. Quite so, but not very so, and as far as my general constitution goes I would consider myself sober, mostly because I would still  consider my drunken person to still be far superior to- well, everybody.

The fact of the matter, however, is that I've decided it was a great idea for me to continue my ongoing position of "currently moving" while inebriated. As such I think it's poignant to provide a counter-argument by pointing out the behaviours that I simultaneously exhibit and can outwardly classify as a drunken act.

Point in case- moments ago, while doing the dishes, I found it necessary to pivot and face Alex's room's door and declare: "Hitherto." While I'm not quite sure what I was getting at, I'm sure it was deep and meaningful and the door will forever remember my fateful drunken utterance of the word "Hitherto."

I would like to think that it is an apt existentialist statement on the "Ongoing Moment" or, alternately, the Procession of Man Through Time with "Time" being defined as Man's Perception of Memory vs. History as Method of Self-Immortilization. It seems particularly notable as a declaration (That's correct, not MERELY a statement but a DECLARATION) during the process of relocating oneself from a considered "Home" to a new location recognized as "Home."

I am now returning to the dishes with full and self-aware inclinations and aspirations to continue editing this commentary. If I fail to do so it is only beacuse (as stated above) I am inebriated. I would like to also like to remark that I consider myself Unfortunately Literate. Not sure if the misfortune is for you or me but somewhere along the way someone is getting a bum deal out of this.

2: (03:46:11 AM)

It is worth noting that I now feel my updates should be accompanied by timestamps. It is also worth noting that I felt said timestamps should be both single-worded and declared in military time. My third notation is that at this early hour military time holds no weight over a reader's judgement, unless, perhaps, it is stated that military time is the desired and mandatory mode of time delineation.

Secondly (despite the uses of plural above ("also" and "third notation") I feel this is still the second comment of this addendum) I'd like to state that this addition is to serve two purposes. The first is to let the kitchen sink drain so I can continue the "purging." The second is to point out that I'm in a self-maintaining state of sabotage. To keep this state of sober commentary on my non-sober self I took 4 shots of Stoli. Apologies to Jay for the earlier claim of not touching my inherited alcohol unless a social outlet called for it. I dislike contradiction but as you can tell by my rant I'm in no state to pay it any mind.

3: (04:10:53 AM)

Clarifications and Pre-Emptive Apologies:

To anyone who has the (mis)fortune of visiting our apartment before we have vacated: Do Not Use the Dishes. I have scrubbed each and every item that fits under said category with full intention of Visual Acceptance and with full neglect of Realistic Application. In short: I want my dishes to look moveable.

Basically I want a clean slate to identify which dishes are mine own and which belong to Alex. Jake has already cleared his slate, vowing months ago to not use or wash dishes in the household. I would like to be able to identify and pack my dishes, but I have full intention to re-wash all of it once I have successfully relocated.

Also: Before I left for work today we had several colonies of Ants and Flies (of many variants) in several rooms of the household. I took out three trips worth of trash, began the neglected dishes, and didn't leave before filling the sink and remaining dishes with scalding hot water. Moments ago I saw a lone ant traversing the kitchen floor, whereas hours ago I saw swarms holding up in the corners. I'd like to think that my "fill every crevace with scalding water" technique worked quite well. I'd also like to think that we're going to coat this place with a layer of insecticide as our last unified action.

4: (07:26:15 AM)

I hate moving. I hate preparing to move, I hate the physical act of moving, I hate the having to ready myself to actively think about moving and the logistics of how to do it. I also hate sobering up and realizing that I probably had better things to do tonight than work on moving in a drunken and drowsy state and I definitely had better things to do than post updates on fucking MySpace. Three last things:

1. Ants are symbolic. Especially lone ants traversing barren kitchens.
2. Clone High is a very good show.
3. I have 666 "blog views" right now. If you're reading this then you've already fucked it up for all of us and the 15-year old inside of me is very upset. No other subconscious persona cares, but you still better damn well hope the 15-year old Landon in my head doesn't track down toilet paper and eggs.

[sleep]